a footnote in someone else's happiness
May. 17th, 2022 05:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sync24an essential part of the theoretical framework others use to build their own happiness upon. a greater honor, a greater contribution to society, may not exist. what is the point of life, if not to spread small joys and to build foundations of happiness?
it is easy to frame oneself as not-in-focus and deserving to be center-stage, aching to be the lead for once. but these days, i wonder if i've even managed to be a footnote. i think i'm a reference lost, gone and forgotten, ultimately irrelevant. one of many unoriginal thoughts. not a prominent enough fixture in enough people's lives to be remembered, credited. to have any notable influence at all.
i've learned i do not have what it takes to pitch myself for leads. i do not have the skill, nor the confidence, nor the exceptional misery. i am slightly messy brain chemistry, fatigue, and a lack of motivation.
my place is not that of a side character, but that of someone tertiary. a cameo, a background figure. no depth to speak of. tainted by melancholy, easy to brush over, not worth looking into -- because there's nothing to see. an infinite russian doll, never quite the same.
we couldn't authenticate your log-in.
burnt out before i ever burned bright, not even a flicker of candlelight.
it is easy to frame oneself as not-in-focus and deserving to be center-stage, aching to be the lead for once. but these days, i wonder if i've even managed to be a footnote. i think i'm a reference lost, gone and forgotten, ultimately irrelevant. one of many unoriginal thoughts. not a prominent enough fixture in enough people's lives to be remembered, credited. to have any notable influence at all.
i've learned i do not have what it takes to pitch myself for leads. i do not have the skill, nor the confidence, nor the exceptional misery. i am slightly messy brain chemistry, fatigue, and a lack of motivation.
my place is not that of a side character, but that of someone tertiary. a cameo, a background figure. no depth to speak of. tainted by melancholy, easy to brush over, not worth looking into -- because there's nothing to see. an infinite russian doll, never quite the same.
we couldn't authenticate your log-in.
burnt out before i ever burned bright, not even a flicker of candlelight.
